Updates on Silence

Well, as I suspected I would become a lazy sod, or, return to my regular lazy routine.  My last post was on Nov 6. 

Not much new to report since then.  On Nov 11, I completed my second one year contract at my school.  Currently, I am constantly debating with my SO if we should return to Canada for Christmas.  I think that it would be nice for her to experience some traditional Canadian Chrsitmas festivities, but I understand that she is busy and that to Koreans Christmas isn't important at all (outside of an obligatory chapter in a middle school English textbook). 

Much like the changing of the seasons, we have returned to exam time.  A time where I am but a lonely ghost wandering the halls of the school as I have nothing to do.  A time where everyone is too busy and too stressed to say hello, so I sit day after day in silence at my desk.  It is almost an awful reminder of dinners at home when I was a child where everyone would sit in silence for 20 minutes or so while completing their meal.  How I wish it was only for 20 minutes, try doing it for 8 hours then going home to a silent apartment to fill out the remainder of the evening.

During this time, I guess I get a little overly sensitive.  Due to the fact that I must become a two week long solipist, I tend to think too much, and as result become to obsessed with my suscipions about what is going on.  I tend to drink more during this period, as I would like to experience any feeling other than this crushing boredom.  Whether related, or not I said something insensitive to my SO on the weekend which I immediately regretted.  Now, she is quite understandably upset.

I have been thinking about signing up for an online master's course.  Perhaps something intellectually challenging would be of benefit for me.  However, in these exam ghost like periods, I feel completely unwilling to do anything and would much rather wait to engage in new projects during more hospitable times.

Sometimes I think that I am an unecessary nussiance here.  Someone that everyone must put up with at school, but with whom they are really not sure what to do with.  So, most months I get paid a decent salary for just sitting around and doing nothing...

I realize that this short piece seems a bit disjointed.....but I lack the energy and drive to make it more comphrensible or cohesive.  I can't be bothered checking the spelling either.

Anyways, back to wandering the halls ghost like and invisible,
And dream of far away scotches
To 5pm

Adam